Gaslighting: Recognising and Healing from Emotional Abuse
Gaslighting is a subtle yet insidious form of emotional abuse that can leave lasting scars on its victims. As a trauma-informed life coach, my mission is to help individuals identify and heal from this harmful manipulation. Let's delve into what gaslighting is, some common examples, and strategies to overcome it.
What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where the abuser aims to make the victim doubt their reality, memory, and even their sanity. It's a power play, a way for the manipulator to maintain control and dominance over their target.
Examples of Gaslighting:
Denial of the past: The abuser may deny past events or conversations that the victim distinctly remembers.
Trivialising feelings: They might dismiss the victim's emotions as irrational or overreacting.
Shifting blame: Gaslighters often deflect responsibility for their actions and make the victim feel at fault.
Withholding information: Deliberately keeping secrets or information to confuse the victim.
Countering: Constantly questioning the victim's perceptions and experiences.
Minimising: Downplaying the significance of the victim's concerns.
Blocking and diverting: Changing the topic or avoiding discussions that challenge their narrative.
Projecting: Accusing the victim of the very behaviours they're guilty of.
Selective amnesia: Pretending to forget events that expose their manipulation.
Isolation: The abuser may attempt to isolate the victim from friends and family to increase their control.
Dealing with Gaslighting:
Trust your instincts: If you feel that something is off, trust your gut. Your feelings are valid.
Document incidents: Keep a journal of gaslighting incidents to help you maintain clarity.
Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist who can provide a supportive environment.
Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and communicate them to the gaslighter.
Limit contact: If possible, reduce or cut off contact with the gaslighter.
Focus on self-care: Prioritize self-care to maintain emotional and mental strength.
Educate yourself: Understand gaslighting and emotional abuse to better recognize and address it.
Build self-esteem: Work on building your self-confidence and self-worth.
Consider therapy and life coaching: Therapy and life coaching can provide tools and strategies to heal from the trauma of gaslighting. I work with my clients who have experienced this form of emotional abuse, be it at the hands of caregivers in childhood or partners.
Legal action: In extreme cases, consult legal authorities if necessary for protection and justice.
Remember, gaslighting is about control and manipulation. By recognising the signs and implementing these strategies, you can regain your sense of self and heal from the emotional scars inflicted by this form of abuse.
